This getting old thing is hard.

Hi Patricia,

It's been a hard week of emotion, mostly based on age. This has burned me from both ends.

First, Elsa is starting kindergarten. Where did that time go? She was just being carried around in a carseat and perfectly happy giggling at those stupid pull-toys that vibrate as they retract. I had been funny then. Now, the rigamarole of playdates and preparatory potlucks has left me withered. At one, she was following along on the monkey bars because she saw her future classmates doing it. Totally covered three quarters of the distance before plummeting, walloping flat on her rump, and needing me to comfort her.  WHERE WILL I BE DURING SCHOOL HOURS?!!

(Let's be honest: drinking.)

In Defense of Ray Rice

Hi Patricia,

Brace yourself, I’m going to talk sports again for a minute. But it's not going to be cutesy. I tried that and it didn't work. I started to write some commentary on sports that opened with a really obtuse perspective about blindly supporting a team and all the people who play for it. It was so hamfisted it needed a nitrogen warning. I need to tap into honesty here because that seems to be the only thing left.

Nanu Nanu, Robin. The Obligatory Suicide Post.

Look, a new posting on FugitiveLex! As elusive and pointed as a unicorn, 
just not nearly as pretty or sought-after.

I Second That Emotion

Hi Ray,

Apologizing for my tardiness, as always, I now offer my follow-up to your Persistence of Cloud Storage post, trying to tackle another of the Great Modern Emotions. The Second Great Emotion, Forgetting Without a Connection, is the foundation of all things. We could dedicate this entire blog to it in perpetuity. And perpetuity is what it's all about, isn't it?

Persistence of Cloud Storage

Hi Patricia,

Today I forgot, and I didn’t fight it. Forgetting without a connection. I believe this is the second of the great modern emotions.

I watched one of those internet videos. It seems to be all I do. And it was Louis CK talking about being sad. But there was a twist to it, he became emotional without picking up his phone. The first very modern emotion. Sadness without disconnection.

God Hates Schadenfreude

Hi Ray,

I want to write about Fred Phelps, but I'm having trouble figuring out how to express my thoughts on him and his passing. Like most things, it's complicated.

I spent years reviling the man and the acts of the Westboro Baptist Church. I thought his message of hate was wrong-headed and un-Christian, whatever that means, and that his tactics were offensive and classless. I seethed with anger when he and his kin would picket the funerals of homosexuals, servicemen, and anyone else that would get them news coverage. When his attorney daughters stood on the steps of the Supreme Court after their victory over the father of a Marine whose funeral WBC picketed and smugly busted out some Ozzy Osbourne "Crazy Train," I actually felt nauseous. It was then that I realized that members of this family have some serious mental health issues.

Half Baked Legal Cookies

Hi Patricia,

This article came across my iPad a couple days ago.  I almost chucked the thing. I find the idea of cutting down the length of law school to be excellent.  Tying it to public service is fantastic.  It is the nibbles and baby steps that piss me off. 

Some Important Albums (number undetermined)

Hi Patricia,

There was one of them Facebook games that got passed around a couple weeks back. It was about naming the ten albums that changed your life.  I abstained from playing, mostly because it bugged me.  My list felt...inadequate.

No Boys Allowed

Hi Ray,

There was an interesting article in Slate yesterday about which I would like to hear your thoughts.  I know that's cheating - lifting our topic straight from another blog - but I feel that you, as a super-involved stay-at-home dad, have a perspective on the subject that wasn't addressed.

The post was called Co-Ed Baby Showers Are a Terrible Idea. Men: Keep Out.  It advances the notion that baby showers should be female-only, not because dads are not as responsible for their kids' care or are somehow inferior to moms, but for the following two reasons:

Dependent on Running Gags

Hi Patricia,

Sorry for my delays of late. On Monday of this week, I took Anna to a children's playroom while Elsa was in school.  That night, I fell victim to one of the most horrendous and debilitating stomach bugs I have ever had.  

I would like to start by discussing the complete unfairness of this.  While at the play place, Anna took to licking the walls, the floor, other people, testing the flavor of the paint, and generally experiencing the place through her face. She was fine.

Musings on Marriage... or Divorce, Kuwaiti Syle

Hi Ray,

To quote one of the best films ever:  "Mawwiage.  Mawwiage is what bwings us togevah today."

 
Or, more generally, marriage and divorce.  I read an article recently about a woman in Kuwait who divorced her husband on the grounds that he had offensive table manners.  Seems the chap eats his peas by grabbing them up with a piece of bread.  I have to admit, I am kind of the Table Manners Police at my house - wanting the kids to at least know what is appropriate in "polite company" before they decide whether to keep or abandon such things as adults. Still, I give the Kuwaiti husband a small tip of my hat.  Chasing peas around your plate with a fork can turn into quite the Keystone Kop routine and he seems to have found a solution.

Generational wealth

Hi Patricia,

I was listening to a sports show the other day, and they were discussing rookie contracts in the NFL.  A couple years ago, the league put a limit on the amount rookies could get paid, and now everyone is happy.  Top players are still getting big bucks (just not as big) for taking severe blows to the head and billionaires get to keep their lips firmly around the money spigot.

That's not the important part.  One of the commenters on the show used the term "generational wealth".  Having sat through a couple of estate planning seminars in my day, the term had been tossed around before.  Its general meaning is a secure amount of money that is significant enough to retire comfortably and have extra for passing down to kids and grandkids (with a minimum cut taken by Uncle Sam).  It's something we're all supposed to aspire to. 

When Did Groceries Become Such a Grave Decision?

Hi Ray,

I have been struggling lately with the tension between wanting to buy only organic, pesticide-free, un-BPA poisoned or hormone-injected food and the fact that it is usually at least 2x the cost and we, like most families, are facing financial challenges.  I find it stressful to have to make choices like whether to buy the organic kale at $5.99 for 6 ounces or the regular kale at $2.49 for 12 ounces.  In that recent example, I just didn’t buy kale at all because I couldn’t feel okay about not getting organic.